Not only is this a great song by Godley And Creme but it is something I feel strongly about: hoarding. “I Pity Inanimate Objects”…especially when they are ignored, misused, forgotten about, not played or played-with, not appreciated and viewed: hoarded. “No toy is truly happy unless it’s loved by a child.” This has always stuck with me.

I am in the process of moving and it opens up something I have written about before; “Spring Cleaning.” We will eventually move into our new house and when we do, I plan not to bring everything back into it, without at least seriously thinking about it first. Do I use this? Have I used it within the last year? Do I still love this? Do I plan to stack it right into the attic (attic food) the day I arrive? The best-big question: Could someone else dig having this? This guitar? This amp? This cool-old one-trick pony delay line? How many of these musical things do I really care about and use regularly? Do I truly care if I could maybe get more money on Ebay in 12 years??

If the answer is yes, then I am hoarding them. Hoarding=not productive and selfish. Purging unused/unwanted/unneeded/unloved/un played-with items=healthy and happy, and better for those less fortunate than you-who might end up with them.

I keep all my beloved guitars out of their cases and on a rack, where I can see, love, appreciate, and PLAY them all. I feel sorry for a guitar in a case, in a closet, waiting (depriving someone else) for Ebay to come get it, like the Grim Reaper. It’s one thing to have it on a wall, but quite another to have it under a bed…down the hall.

Even worse: smashing a guitar! A mortal sin! Inanimate objects, I believe, are still all connected to the universe-like animate things are. Love thy possessions and use them-or giveth them to the needy. Or at least sell them and pay the power bill! Give it away-some kid really needs it. Don’t Townsend…’s not cool. It’s immature.

Find all those misfit toys proper homes. Let em’ go! “Give them away and nobody can rob you.” Karma Suits You…..!


Jamie Hoover